Perspective,
I had a bad day today. I felt like shit because I’m having problems communicating with a coworker. Our thoughts don’t align to the same vision and it’s causing issues to the overall synergy in the team.
But let’s take a step back. I have a friend who was given a gun when he was twelve because he had to become a man. I couldn’t piss straight when I was 12, but at that age I was able to compile code. When I was 16, my father gave me a shot glass with his home brew beer because I had become a man. When I lost my virginity, I felt like I had become a man. What is so important in becoming a man? How do you achieve maturity? When my father passed away, I became the man of the house to watch over my mother and sister. In perspective, in this house, it became important to leave the toilet lid down. It could enrage a woman so bad she would lost her shit if the toilet seat wasn’t down. A few years pass, puff puff pass, puff puff pass, numbing my intelligence, I now have a new perspective induced by THC. You become so obsessed with little things such as neon light, what others are thinking about you, you want to hide from the world, but want to watch it all unfold, you become an observer. You observe, laugh, cry, your feelings intensify. Every touch, word, whisper becomes heavy. You feel the need to be alone more and more. Isolation, from the bed to the screen, to the bed to the screen, to the bed to the screen, your life becomes more and more boring. Not boring in terms of success level though. I’m a fucking enterprise level technical consultant, soon to live in a house, the American dream! Yet I got debt, yet I don’t have a car, yet no one really cares about the car nor house. Where was I, perspective… You even feel you’re at work, and there’s this fucking guy… that fucking ignorant fool, that guy that can’t even create a link to a page, yet he manages you and tells you what you need to do day by day. Yet, he is excellent at his job as he excels at dealing with people. Perspective… The IT guy telling you “Did you try clearing your cache / did you try turning it off and on again?”, he says it 9,345 times a day, yet he has to ask you because it solves 80% of all problems… Back to perspective, the server’s down, shit crashed, hell as I’m writing this to you it’s because gitlab.com is down and got a bit of free time to blog… people will shit on the internet fan because their tool doesn’t work. Some will highlight that 99.9% guaranteed up time was fraudulent and they want their money back. To scream at the person at the other line of the telephone seems so easy, and you’re doing that because you can’t wait 5 minutes? 20 minutes? an hour? a day? get your shit in check. Unless you are a cardiologist and are executing Cardiopulmonary resuscitation, who gives a flying fuck about delays? Speaking of life and death, did you know that some people value money more than life? There’s something seriously wrong in this philosophy… Money is a medium of exchange, it’s not meant to have a greater value than life. Suppose you are plugged in a machine in an indefinite coma. Your family will have to chose between keeping you plugged in, or to pull the plug. Why not just sustain your life and let you live in your dreams? Because it costs money? I seriously don’t understand that you can’t let people dream rather than pulling the plug. Perspective prospect, keep people living… Have you ever had a near death experience, or have known someone who passed away? This shit will fuck you up. I know I’m addicted to computing, but when my father died, I took about a good week without going on the computer. I needed a time stop. I needed to understand… Understand what just happened… Suddenly, that guy at work who doesn’t know shit about what a programmer can do is a pretty good guy. Actually no, he’s a great man. He’s raised a family, something I sure known nothing about… Knowledge becomes a luxury, it becomes expertise, it becomes insignificant. So I come to think about what metric I want to measure. The only metric I really give a shit about: Happiness.
Put it in perspective, if everyone you meet becomes happier after they met you, you did an awesome job and are winning at life. If not, I guess something needs improving. Failure in something is not death (In most cases). If the worst case comes and you can’t die by doing something wrong, you will do something wrong in the future, it’s inevitable. Just bathe uneasy in your pool of anxiety and problems and you will eventually surface from the water who seemed to get you drowning. You’ll then look back, say it wasn’t so bad. Whatever it is, look forward. Tell yourself if you don’t want to swim, don’t. But know that you have swam before and if you must, you will be able to rise up from the waters again like you did before.
Final piece of advice, set yourself small goals, tiny, even virtual, knocking down little things will give you a better sense of accomplishments than this big golden goal that is almost unachievable. In perspective you will feel progress, accomplishments and success.
Today is not so bad after all. Peace, out.